Happy Easter

Is everyone looking forward to the Easter break?? We are going to my daughter's Easter service this afternoon, where she is receiving a Headmasters commendation, which should be a lovely start to the Easter holidays. My clever little button! We are busy the first week, travelling 'Up North' to stay with Daddy bear's family for the Easter weekend, then on the way back breaking the journey for a two night stay in a travel lodge to visit Thomas Land at Drayton Manor (as long as it's not too cold!!!). It should be lovely, and the children will have a great time although secretly I am rather looking forward to the second week where we have no plans and can just relax and shake off these bugs we keep coming down with!! I know some people dread the holidays, but I love not having to get up and do the rush to school for a couple of weeks!!

Planning our trip in this cold weather, got me thinking about previous journeys we have made, and  I'm hoping the journey will go better than one of our previous ones. Daddy bear was off a sandy 'trip' with work and I decided to take my then two baby bears, then 2 and 1, on the 4 hour journey 'Up North' to see the in laws. The journey went great, and we had a lovely time, the children were so well behaved. It was all much easier than I imagined. Repacking the car wasn't too bad, I'd packed too much stuff as always, and of course it was really necessary to bring two push-a-long trikes, which had to go in last to fit in. My father in law also very kindly took the car to fill it up whilst I bathed the children ready for the journey home!

Well we were all wrapped up, children in their PJ's and thermal suits (as it was January), DVD player on and lots of nursery rhyme CD's at the ready. Well we said good bye, and I started the car. It didn't start first time which was unusual, but I thought no more about it when the car started fine on the second try. The children were so good on the journey, the traffic was great, and the journey so smooth, too smooth......

On turning off the M4 to make our way through the countryside home, the car broke down on the roundabout, and wouldn't start again. It's not an old car, so not something it usually does at all. So quick as a flash I got the children out of the car and on to the roundabout. Obviously being 1 and 2, they were at the age where they are hard to constrain, especially when Mummy needs to make important phone calls to the RAC!! So the quickest thing to get out of the boot was the two trikes. So we are sat there on a roundabout in the dark at 9 at night, pretending we are 'In the night garden' in our florescent jackets, children in trikes eating my emergency supply of chocolate, looking like complete maniacs!! 

Luckily our wait was a short one, the lovely RAC man took 30 minutes, followed closely by my parents (all good to call Dad like a 12 year old!!) Well Dad very kindly went with the RAC man to drop the car at the garage, and Mum drove me and the children home. It appeared that my father in law, in his kindness to help, put petrol in my car by accident! Whoops. Luckily it wasn't a disaster, and the car only needed the tank draining and we had it back the next day. But still makes me giggle to think of us sat on the roundabout like that!!

Anyway, I really had better get the rest of or things packed ready for the trip. We'll definitely pack extra warm things for breakdowns and I'm not taking trikes, and will pack the pushchair on the top. I have already filled up the car making sure I used Diesel!! :)

Happy Easter all! x

Healthy baby......... not the most important thing during labour?

I have been reading a few blogs and newspaper articles recently debating a mothers birth options and whether a healthy baby is the most important thing, and it has got me thinking. To be honest, it has got me a little bit angry too. Of course people can have very traumatic birth experiences, where they feel like they are not in charge of what happens to their body during labour, and that what is happening is not their choice. That must be horrible, and I totally get that, and I empathise with them. However whilst having a healthy baby may not be the only thing in labour, to me it IS the most important thing.

Whilst I get that birth trauma can have a terrible effect on the mother and potential post traumatic stress and post natal depression, that should be reduced as much as possible. To say that having a healthy baby after a traumatic labour does not in some way make up for that traumatic labour, that it was worth it,  or go as far as to say that having a healthy baby is not the most important thing. I would definitely argue that having a poorly baby or worse, due to a lack of medical care during the labour would have a much larger negative effect on them. I am not in anyway referring to the medical health of the mother, of course that is vital too, but a mothers wants for a perfect, unaided birth.

I think perhaps peoples life experiences can change their opinion on this matter. Having suffered a early miscarriage with my first pregnancy, I was worried the whole of my next pregnancy that something would go wrong, so for me a health baby was the most important thing, and if honest, the only thing for me. Of course I had a birth plan and things I wanted for my labour, but I would have done anything, for the sake of that precious baby, to keep them safe. I was more laid back with my next pregnancy  having done it before, however ultimately again a healthy baby was still the most important thing.

My third pregnancy was my most stressful, I suffered a heavy bleed at 11 weeks and was certain I had miscarried, it was a huge relief during the scan at the early pregnancy clinic to see a little baby with a heart beat. I continued to bleed on and off until 17 weeks, then we had another scare at 20 weeks when the anomaly scan showed a marker for Cystic Fibrosis and we went for extra scans and tests, which luckily were negative. My waters went at 32 weeks and I went into labour at 34 weeks. I would be incredibly surprised to see anyone having serious worries about their baby say that a healthy baby was not the most important thing. Of course I would never wish that stress on anyone, but I don't believe you can really be thinking of the consequences of saying a healthy baby isn't important during labour. In my eyes, nothing is more important than the health of your baby. I also don't think that I would have ever had gone against doctors advice with any of my pregnancies and labours and would have done anything advised for the sake of my baby.

 Whilst the hospital experience with my third wasn't entirely perfect, my labour, mostly thanks to the fabulous NHS midwife I had was relaxed, calm and as easy as possible, with just Gas and air. And whilst yes 'I hopped up on the bed' and had my baby as some people would look negatively at, the outcome was the best thing I could possibly dreamed of. I had a tiny but perfect little baby.


Yes there are things I wished had been different. I wished I could have held him for longer than the minute I had before he was taken away by the doctors, would I have changed it? Not in a million years he was in the best place for him. Was it terrible seeing him in an incubator with wires and tubes attached? In a way yes, but never as terrible as I had imagined it could be when my waters went at 32 weeks.

 I was so lucky, my baby bear was a super breastfeeder and put on weight and we only spent 10 days in hospital. And 'touch wood' as I still worry, he seems to be developing as he should be, in fact he is just a gorgeous bouncy baby. I am eternally grateful for the care my baby received, and fully believe there is a strong chance he might not be here, if it wasn't for that care.

It angers me that people can be so narrow minded to actually be of the opinion that the health of their baby is not the most important thing during their labour. I have friends who have lost babies, struggled to conceive, had miscarriages and have had special needs babies, and I honestly feel the health of the baby far outweighs the mothers wants of a perfect labour. Whilst of course a mothers wants for her labour should be met wherever possible, the health of the baby, and mother IS the most important thing. You would be very selfish to think otherwise.

Introductions

I'll start with myself; Mummy bear. I am a stay at home mum, following early retirement from the military with the birth of my daughter, and our family has grown from there. I met my fabulous husband 'Daddy bear' in the military, which means he sometimes has to spend time away from us, which can be difficult for all of us, but really just part of our lives. He is a wonderful and fun Daddy, who really does help around the house when he is at home. :) I love my children and family to bits and wouldn't change them for the world, they are my life. The three young children does make us quite busy and sometimes feels like we don't quite have time to do things properly, and time is just disappearing.  I find I have very little time for myself and tend to feel guilty if I do. I am a creative soul, and have lots of ideas I want to try out but just a lack of time to do so would love to find a hobby/creative work I could manage from home!

Mimi Bear

Mimi bear is my gorgeous biggest bear cub. She's 4 (not forgetting the all important half that she insits on using as she's the youngest in her class having an august birthday.) She's been at school a half a year now and is already so grown up, it is scary where the time has gone. She loves books, reading, writing, dancing and any art, the messier the better!!

H Bear

H Bear is my lovely middle sized bear cub. He is your stereotypical boy, who runs everywhere at an incredible speed, and has a huge enthusiasm for anything that goes; cars, trains, planes. He is adorable and incredibly cheeky. His behaviour seems to get more unruly the longer his curly hair gets, and the only way to keep him still is with a cuddle and a book!

Teddy Bear

Then finally (and I mean finally as three is enough for us!) we have Teddy, my baby bear, who has somehow managed to be 16 months old, and is incredibly cute. He is really beginning to find his own funny personality now and toddles around the house bossing me about! He seems to be more of a climber than a speed addict like his brother, which is a different challenge  He was not the most well behaved bear during his pregnancy, and decided that 34 weeks was a good enough time to come into the world, so caused a fair amount of panic. He has however been an incredibly good baby bear since then, so we have just about forgiven him, will be completely forgiven when he starts sleeping through the night!! :)

Three bears

Stop rushing, cuddle up and enjoy the little things!!

I am sitting with my gorgeous 4 year old bear cub, who I get to spend far to little time with since she started school in September. She is off school with a virus, but starting to feel better, so we have spent the morning snuggled up on the sofa. My middle size bear is at preschool and baby bear is having a nap in his cot, so we are having a rare Mummy and daughter moment. She is watching a DVD but I am sat enjoying the moment and thinking that there should be so many more of them then we seem to get at the moment.

Life seems so busy and time is going so fast. I look at her and I mostly can’t believe she’s 4 and at school.  It doesn't seem two minutes ago she was that tiny and beautiful baby we brought home from the hospital, how and when did she get so big and grown up? She amazes me everyday, how much she knows and her super reading and writing.  And it scares me that time is disappearing so quickly.

When they are babies, we spend so much time wanting them to hit those miles stones, smile, laugh, sit up, crawl, walk and talk, then you just can’t stop it, they grow and change so fast. Someone definitely increased the rate of the fast forward button in our lives when we had our second baby bear. Looking back his life so far is like a blur, and he is somehow 3 and gotten big enough for preschool. And as for baby bear, I seemed to have blinked and he’s 16 months and not really a baby at all, but don’t tell him that yet!, please!!

My point is really just how scary it is how life whizzes away, without us really noticing. Especially now we are in the school routine, days, weeks, terms just seem to fly by.

If only you could stop time just for a bit, stop rushing and sit back and enjoy. Maybe you could bottle it, or catch it in a jar to open at a time when you really have time to savor the moment, but unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. I love this poem/saying by Robert Brault;

It is so true and so important to do. I am guilty of spending too much time planning for the future, for holidays and weekends, worrying about what might be, rather than living in the moment and enjoying the wonderful everyday things in my life, and that is one thing I shall try and change. Because it is all going past too quickly!! Stop being so busy and making more time for a cuddle, chat and play!! Enjoy the little laughs, the funny conversations and gorgeous things our beautiful children do!! xx